


Don't Say the Fuck Word

by Actually_Ichimatsu



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (believe what you want boo), (but this is a ship fic so), (unless i get inspired for a second entry), (well thats my hc), Asexual character(s), Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, F/F, Forgetting to eat, Jared Needs Care Love and Affection, M/M, Nonbinary Character, One Shot, anxiety disorders, chatfic, did you mean: none of the cast is cishet, may be ooc, texting and messaging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 11:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11599644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Actually_Ichimatsu/pseuds/Actually_Ichimatsu
Summary: ev-an embarassment: what the fucckccovfefe: DONT SAY THE FUCK WORDev-an embarrassment: you,,, justcovfefe: do not FUCKING CURSE





	Don't Say the Fuck Word

**Author's Note:**

> me: im exhausted of chat fics i just got done writing one  
> me: *middle of writing a deh chat fic* what were you saying
> 
> covfefe - connor  
> guitar hero - zoe  
> kinKy - jared  
> ayyylana - alana  
> ev-an embarrasment - evan

 

"mental instability"

_covfefe is online_  
_guitar hero is online_  
_maymaylord is online_  
_ayyylana is offline_  
_ev-an embarrassment is offline_ __

kinKy: can i get uhhhhhhhh Motherfucken Affection

covfefe: no.

kinKy: :(

guitar hero: A relatable post

**ayyylana is online**

ayyylana: I heard my love needed affection?

kinKy: am i Really Loved?

ayyylana: No, I was talking about Zoe.

kinKy: > : (

guitar hero: Come oveeeeerrrrrr

covfefe: don't, zo.

guitar hero: No

guitar hero: Why?

covfefe: i dont wanna hear my sister having sex through the walls

guitar hero: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

covfefe: i have crippling depression

guitar hero: ,,,touche

guitar hero: Not what i was asking for, but touche

covfefe: B)

kinKy: u talk like u and evan haven't done that before

covfefe: its because we havent

kinKy: ; )))))))

**ev-an embarrassment is online**

ev-an embarrassment: !!!! i don't,,,, like,,,, kdnwnsn

ev-an embarassment: what the fucckc

covfefe: DONT SAY THE FUCK WORD

ev-an embarrassment: you,,, just

covfefe: do not FUCKING CURSE

ayyylana: MY PURE SON HAS BEEN TAINTED??

guitar hero: O U R S O N

ev-an embarrassment: i, ive cursed befofe, you know,,,,,,

ev-an embarrassment: before*

kinKy: oh im sure of it ; ))))

ev-an embarrassment: im, asexua,@,,,,

ev-an embarrassment: asexual*** mfnthejsjendfuccj

kinKy: oh wait rlly

kinKy: you're dating? connor tho?

ev-an embarrassment: asexua lis justi dont like sex incan date connor if i want to that has nothing to do with my romanticnorientation

ev-an embarrassment: soorry its really confusing??? i kno im confusinglmaohaha sorryr

kinKy: no ev its okay???, i just didn't know tha t you could be two different romantic and sexual orientation,s,

ev-an embarrassment: oh soryr

ev-an embarassment: *sorry

kinKy: ev no its good

ayyylana: Hey! It's alright Evan, okay? I'm Lowkey Asexual Too!!

ev-an embarrassment: okay,,,

covfefe: oh sorry alana, i didnt know

ayyylana: No, it's alright! I couldn't have expected you to know!

kinKy: while were on this subject,,, i, am Nonbinary,,,

ayyylana: Really?????

guitar hero: What are your pronouns?

kinKy: idcccc,,,,, just he or they,,, just mfmfmffff ykno

ayyylana: While we're on this subject? I know we've been friends for a month or two now, but I want to be sure! Can we say our preferred pronouns (and/or names)?

ayyylana: I know it seems too late but I just want to be sure!!!

guitar hero: Of course, b :^)))

guitar hero: Zoe, she/her!!!

covfefe: connor, i dont give a fuck (he mostly lmfao)

ev-an embarrassment: evan,,, he/him

kinKy: jared- he/they, but honestly u can call me anything and ill Probably Respond™

covfefe: bitch

kinKy: sup

covfefe: daddy

kinKy: ,,,,,,,sup

ev-an embarrassment: what the h*ck

covfefe: h*ck

ev-an embarrassment: you told me nto to curse, darling :-)

guitar hero: Is that s h a d e being t hr o w n holy fuck

ayyylana: Our son is growing up!

ayylana: Oh yeah, also: Alana, she/her!

ayyylana: I better be headed off. It's getting late, and it's a school day tomorrow! Take your meds, and go to sleep at a reasonable time!

**ayyylana is now offline**

ev-an embarrassment: fufck

guitar hero: its so weird seeing my son cursing

ev-an embarrassment: shush,,,,,, enesmsms you guys curse,,, ehy canf i,,,,

covfefe: what's wrong ev?

ev-an embarrassment: nothing

kinKy: have you eaten?

ev-an embarrassment: eys,,,, why wouldn't i have eaten

ev-an embarrassment: yes*

kinKy: im OMW

covfefe: me too

ev-an embarrassment: you guys dont have to,,,,,,,,,,

covfefe: we want to, be right there

**kinKy is now offline**

**covfefe is now offline**

guitar hero: Nemeshsuueejk

ev-an embarrassment: what's wrong zoe????

guitar hero: Parents, yelling @ connor for going out this late,,,

ev-an embarrassment: oh my go,,d i'm so sorry jfnema

guitar hero: No, no, its good evan,,, you need to eat

ev-an embarrassment: i know i should,, take more care of myself but its so much you know ive went over t but i cant ever wrod it right its so hard and i hate it so much???? its sho hard and if they seeme then its gonan be so ahr dyou know right jsut its not funn and

guitar hero: Evan, its all good, i know its really hard for you. Just, if you dont eat again or if your moms out, please just come over here? Our parents would be glad to feed you

ev-an embarrasment: i know but what if i just, leech your,,, food,,, you know

guitar hero: Evan, we have the money to feed another mouth, its alright.

ev-an embarrassment: im going to be gone for the rest of the night,, probably, i just, you know, its late and,,,

guitar hero: You do that okay? Connor might stay over there idk he will if i know him ukno parents and stuff

ev-an embarrassment: yeah they both said they might stay the night. jared's parents Know Me so its like,,,, you know

ev-an embarrassment: okay im gonna go now, good night zoe

guitar hero: Good night, evan

**ev-an embarrassment is now offline**

**guitar hero is now offline**

**Author's Note:**

> Evan is asexual that might just be me projecting but HELL yeah
> 
> I also tried to give them Typing Styles ™   
> Alana: Pretty much perfect capitalization, grammar, and punctuation.  
> connor: only lowercase, but otherwise pretty good grammar and punctuation  
> jared: tries for all lowercase but Cant Help Capitalizing when empathizing somethin,,, doesnt have the best punctuation and uses shortcuts like 'u' or 'omw',,, uses the comma ellipsis,,  
> Zoe: Has an iphone that auto capitalizes and auto punctuates. Otherwise, her grammar isnt the best and doesn't use much apostrophes either.  
> Evan: use,,,,,s a lot,,,, of punctuation,,,, usually lowercase but with a lot of feeling, using commas and periods and semicolons to show emotion;;;; typose al to when upset and forsnt bother to fic them when upset. fixes them if feeling ok. (aka my normal typing lmao, but i usually fix them lmao)


End file.
